Before I had kids…

wishBefore I had kids,
I would drag myself out of bed at 10:00 a.m. on weekends…ever thinking that I could do that as a mother…that was wishful thinking.

Before I had kids,
I could step out of the house at a moment’s notice…ever thinking that I would be able to do that again after I had kids…that was wishful thinking.

Before I had kids,
I took my time to get dolled up for date nights with the husband…ever thinking that I would have the luxury of time to do that again after I had kids…that was wishful thinking.

Before I had kids,
I partied until 4:00 a.m. on a few crazy evenings with the coolest of friends…ever thinking that I would ever want to do that again…not even close to wishful thinking.

Before I had kids,
I would spend careless hours window shopping and sometimes, actual shopping…ever thinking that I would have those hours to do that again after kids…that was wishful thinking.

Before I had kids,
I traveled to Singapore, Istanbul, Paris, and Guadalajara. I traveled solo to Sikkim for a week and loved the adventure that comes with being a single female traveler in India…ever thinking I could do that again (and not just for the current state of affairs in a couple of these places) as easily after kids…that was wishful thinking.

Before I had kids,
I participated in multiple 5k competitions, went to the gym, and regularly attended Pilates and Yoga classes…ever thinking I could do that again without worrying about childcare or breastfeeding schedules after kids…that was wishful thinking.

Before I had kids,
I was me, ever thinking that, that “me” would continue to exist after kids… that was wishful thinking.

After I had kids,
I wake up bright and early and can’t believe how productive I am even on my zombie days of severe sleep deprivation.

After I had kids,
Because I can’t step out of the house on a moment’s notice, I have become a pro-planner and long-term strategist of what goes where and when in the car, diaper bag, etc.

After I had kids,
Ordering pizza and watching a rented movie online is a perfect date night and I save all the time NOT making myself someone I don’t care to be the rest of the time. (Brownie points to my husband for loving me then, and loving me even more now.)

After I had kids,
I thank my stars that I don’t have friends who want to party till 4:00 a.m. Honestly, I just can’t imagine a life like that anymore. I’m glad I did it when I could. Staying up till 10:30 p.m. is struggle enough.

After I had kids,
I am saving time and money by NOT shopping for myself. Everything I shop for is pretty much for the kids these days and it is needs-based so good-bye vanity and hello practicality.

After I had kids,
I may not be able to travel internationally (or domestically, for that matter) yet, but I can’t wait for the kids to grow a little older so I can travel with them and look at the world through their eyes.

After I had kids,
I did participate in three 5k races – to have my 3-month-old son and husband greet me at the finish line at one of them, get completely soaked in rain at a family 5k with my husband and son at a second, and to experience the pleasure of independently running a 5k, 8-months postpartum after my son was born, were all great memories. First 5k race after my daughter’s birth – 6 months postpartum, is coming up in October.

After I had kids,
The “I” has evolved. The ego-centric ‘I’ that still raises its head every once in a while is usually dormant and regularly basks in the glorious joys of having gotten redefined as the mother of two great kids. As always, the ‘I’ is multidimensional but the sparkle of that identity shines brighter than ever.

How’s that for thinking wishes into being!


This is Day 6 of a week long blog challenge. Today’s prompt is: Wishful Thinking. See my other posts below: (Dates are a little off in the US because they are based on Indian time)

Aug 1 – A Reality that is Stranger than Fiction
Aug 2 –What you don’t know as a parent and a child…
Aug 3 – Fragile Lives: Fragile Moments – Cherishing the last times
Aug 4 – Will I ever learn…
Aug 5 – Wishing upon a daughter


A former Communication Studies professor turned a somewhat reluctant stay-at-home-mom (SAHM), I blog about my adventures raising two multiracial kids. I write about parenting and living a multicultural Indian-Canadian-American HinJew life with honesty, a few tears, lots of laughter, and gallons of coffee.
Blogger at:
Follow me: @thephdmama

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  1. All of us parents have been in this space sometimes. good write up.

    1. Thanks, Pooja.

  2. Simply fabulous perspective Suchitra! And how much it resonates with every mom! Loved this!

    1. Thank you SO very much!!

  3. Lovely ‘clash’ of perspectives, Suchitra. We’ve all been there!

    1. True dat! Thanks, Sid.

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